Some people should not reproduce

and the results of the MRI I had done on my back say that my parents are two of them.

I'm kidding, obviously, because if they hadn't reproduced then the world wouldn't have me, and that would be tragic. but my genetics do leave a lot to be desired. The latest manifestation of their awesomeness is in my spine. I briefly mentioned that I've been having some back problems. I didn't go into detail because, really, everyone in this world has their own problems and who wants to read about mine? Then I realized two things: 1. this is a blog about my life. obviously if you're reading it you have to be remotely interested in what's going on (God bless you!). and 2. Have you ever heard of schadenfreude? It is a beautiful German word (there's an oxymoron! (I'm kidding. I love German. Hi Frau Altmiller!!)) that literally means "Pleasure or happiness at the misfortune of others." There is probably some aspect of your life that sucks. That's not a diss on your life, that's just a fact of it - everyone's life sucks a little bit. Maybe reading about my problems will help you forget about your own for a little bit, or something like that. Really I'm just trying to justify to myself why I'm talking about myself constantly. That's the problem with blogs, they cater to people like me who sometimes really like to talk about their own life. I'm sorry!

So back to the back pain (do you see what I did there?), for about a year, every couple months I would have a week or two of extreme discomfort (but not necessarily pain) in my lower back. About 2 months ago it started again, but this time it was crippling, and it didn't get better - it just got worse. So I sucked it up and decided to consult a chiropractor about 4 weeks ago, which I really recommend. I've been seeing a chiropractor since I was 2 months old. They are heaven sent! My chiropractor has been doing some physical and manual therapy combined with electric stim on my back, and there was no improvement at all and my back was just getting worse, in addition to the fact that there was now pain shooting down both of my legs and I couldn't move without feeling like I was being stabbed.

SO doc sent me for an MRI. That was enough of an experience itself. I'm not a claustrophobic person, but I think everyone becomes claustrophobic when it comes to MRIs. The woman on the phone asked me if I was claustrophobic and I decided to say yes to see what happened. Nothing happened. The only thing that got me was now these people knew that I was going to be freaking out while I was stuffed in this tube for half an hour with jackhammers banging all around me. Have you ever noticed how people who give MRIs are always like really sweet and nice, etc.? It's because they can get their evil, sadistic ways out of their systems by knowing how much they're really torturing you.

This is the result of said MRI:

Two things with this. First, I'm not a doctor, I don't even play one on TV. but even I can tell that there is something going on there in those shady spots, especially that one shady spot where it's really sticking out on the side. Someone who actually is a doctor, and maybe they even play one on TV, looked at this and got the following information:

My genes suck.

More specifically, I was born with a wonderful little thing called "Congenital Canal Stenosis" of the lumbar spine. Meaning, basically, that the spinal cord narrows as it goes down to the bottom. This is resulting in nerve damage, bulging discs, compression of all kinds of things and a bunch of other problems that I don't even understand. There was a lot of head nodding and smiling as all of this was explained to me. But what it comes down to is that I was born with this 'issue' and I was told that there's no way to treat/cure it, but rather 'manage' it. The doctor informed me that through continuing the therapy and consulting a neurologist they should be able to get me out of pain and try to make sure that the pain does not come back, at least to this magnitude.

I was all down on myself thinking that I was going to be crippled for life. I don't think there's  much room in the musical theatre industry for people with major back problems. But then I got a phone call from my mom! She found a spine center (place thing...) and they do a non-invasive laser surgery to repair stenosis of the spine! HEY, that's what I have!!! I faxed a copy of my MRI results over to them, and in the next few days they will be contacting me to let me know if the surgery would help my problem and if I'm eligable for it. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but it sure would be nice.

Then comes the decision of how and where to get this surgery done...

When childhood memories stop you in your tracks

When I was a kid (way back in the day ;)) one of my favorite movies of all time was  "The Fox and the Hound." To be honest, I don't remember anything about it except that the part where the old woman took the fox away made me cry and that after watching it every day for about 6 months the VHS got really snowy and eventually had to be thrown out.






I was just browsing through the headlines on Yahoo's homepage, and I had to stop myself for a second when I saw this picture.

 

I haven't even thought about that movie in who knows how long, but for some reason, upon seeing this photo the 5 year old inside my brain jumped up and went "The Fox and the Hound!!!!!" then I read the story and Yahoo killed my dreams.

It was one of those wonderful moments where you kind of get to spend a second being a kid again, assuming the best about every situation. Then logic kicks in and you realize that instead of being best friends, the dog was trying to hunt this fox and its babies, and the amazing thing about the picture is that the fox fought back. 

Excuse me while I try find "The Fox and the Hound" online so I can relive my childhood without the interruption of reality. :)

(You can find the story of the picture here: http://news.yahoo.com/photos/snapshots-week-of-june-3-1307133161-slideshow/hunting-dog-hunting-fox-photo-1317336776.html)

I just need to whine for a minute

In my 'inspiration of the week' on Tuesday, I spent most of the time rambling about how we need to remember how when everything seems to be going wrong, eventually it's going to better. My optimistic perspective on life is pissing me off right now.

I'm having one of 'those' days today. I've been having really severe back pain for about 2 months now (I see a chiropractor 3 times a week) that is bothering me a lot today, I'm stressed out about everything, I got sad news, I'm homesick, and I've picked up some kind of regular sick too.

If I were at home, I could deal with it by lashing out at family members and close friends.

But that's not totally acceptable in a college dorm, so I've locked myself and my bad mood in my bedroom for the time being. It's best for everyone this way.

So, about that job...

I need a job.

Now there's a topic that approximately 9.1% of Americans can agree on! That percentage doesn't even include people like me who are still lucky enough to be part of the, "I want a job because I want money, but I'm not going to get a job because I'd rather go to parties than work," age range. However, my bank account is slowly draining and I really don't like asking my parents for money.

Yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

But seeing as I don't really have any parties to go to, I think that a job is a nice second option. You are probably thinking, "You're in college. What do you mean there are no parties!?" See, I go to an arts school. Now I know what you're really thinking, "An arts school! Full of artists! Everyone there must have weed! Of course there are parties!" Well, I'm not saying that statement is incorrect, I'm just saying that those aren't exactly the kind of parties I'm looking for. So a job it is.

I got my first job when I was 15 and it scarred me for life. I worked at Wendy's. You know the idiot on the drive through who asks you to repeat your order about five times and then gets it wrong anyway? That would be moi.



Home sweet home. Not.

(side note: it's kind of astounding how many mug shots came up when I google'd "Wendy's Drive through employee" ... some things I'd rather not know)

I worked there for about a year and a half. Whenever I'd finally figure out how to do whatever it was I was assigned to do, they'd move me to something else. I think I'm technically still on their payroll. My time there unofficially ended after some words were exchanged between my manager and I. ...Enough about that.

After Wendy's, I got a job as a babysitter. 3 days a week (give or take, depending on the week), 2 boys and a cute little dog. I worked for them for two years and left when I came out to Chicago for school. That was probably the best job I could have ever had as a 17(ish) year old and I love those kids to death. However, I doubt that I'd enjoy babysitting long-term for any other family, because this family spoiled me and their kids (and the kids in their neighborhood) are the only youngsters I really like, anyway. With the exception of a few, kids in general kind of scare me...mostly because they're cute to look at for a bit but after about 5 minutes I'm left wondering what to do with them.



So I went from one extreme of despising my job and cursing all the minutes I spent there to the other extreme of loving my job and never wanting to leave. So that puts me in a difficult position of knowing that the chances of me getting another job that I love that much right now are slim to none, and more than likely I'll end up with a job that I'm kind of miserable in, but at least I'm making money.

 I'm hoping/planning to get my own apartment next year instead of throwing my future money away on student housing. Apparantly money is needed if you have your own apartment.



Debatable

 We'll see how this goes...

Welcome back! :)

This is another less-exciting post! My two first ones...ack! Bear with me on this one and I'll try to post something way more fun for my next one!

My acting professor has asked us to make a 'journal' entry each week about something that inspires us. I don't know if he'll accept my blog as my journal entry, but even if he doesn't I think that you can't go wrong reminding yourself of the inspiration that surrounds you! And since Tuesday is my least favorite day of the week, I think it's a good day to give myself a little boost and find something that inspires me.

If you read my bio (or know me at all) you probably know that I am a lover of country music. I joke that all I need in life is a pair of headphones and my Sugarland station on Pandora! I was never overly exposed to country, so I'm not sure where my love for it stemmed from (though my close friend, Emily (lead singer in the country band Ramblin' On - http://www.facebook.com/groups/153695214672284/ check 'em out!) will often try to take credit for my obsession/love/admiration, etc., of the country music world.) 



The Ramblin' On band



I think I love it so much because country music mostly focuses on the story that the lyrics tell and I am a very lyrical person. As a singer, the first thing I look for in a song is strong lyrics that I feel a connection to. In my opinion, country music delivers this. SO, don't be surprised if my "Inspiration of the Week" is often a country song or part of a country song.

With all of that said (I don't know why I ramble so much when I get on here... "I just have a lot of feelings!" -Mean Girls <3), my choice for my Inspiration of the Week this week would have to be the beautiful song "Little Miss" by Sugarland. While the whole song is absolutely beautiful, I want to hone in on one line that really strikes me each time I hear it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s78w_gKv0Ic 

First, do yourself a favor and listen to the song ^

Now, for my favorite bit:

"Yeah, sometimes you gotta lose til you win. It's alright, it's alright, it's alright. It'll be alright again."

I literally cannot express my love for these few lines without sounding like a 12 year old girl gushing about her gorgeous teacher (...or maybe that was me like 3 months ago. Whatever.).

I don't think there is a single person in this world who doesn't relate to these words on a very, very personal level. It's beautiful because it can be applied to everything we do in our lives. From the most minor things - running late to class AGAIN because you caught a red light (sometimes you gotta lose til you win) to overcoming a major personal obstacle such as depression, rejection, loss of a job, etc.

I mentioned before that I'm a musical theatre major. I want to be an actor. For a living. Like, to make money. Every day I wake up and say to myself "Are you out of your mind?" The answer is yes. I can't even begin to wrap my head around the kind of rejection I'm going to be facing and the struggles that I'm gonna have to go through just to make a career. I'm not letting that deter me because I LOVE it and I wouldn't be happy doing anything else. I'm hoping that this song, specifically these lyrics, will be able to bring me comfort during the times where I want to throw in the towel.

I feel like through the struggles I've had to deal with in my past, to the less severe things I'm facing now, and straight through to whatever life is going to throw at me, I can come back to the reminder that whatever I'm facing is a temporary problem and eventually it's going to improve, even when it seems like it won't. We've all had those long nights where we wonder if the hurt is going to stop, if our problems are ever going to get better...just remember that "sometimes you gotta lose til you win," and no matter what, "it'll be alright again."

The obligatory introduction post!

Hello there! I'm calling this the 'obligatory introduction post.' It's not really obligatory at all. But I figure if you're going to be spending your valuable time reading my ramblings, you should know a little bit about the gal these thoughts are coming from!


My name is Megan. I'm an 18 year old college freshman. I was born and raised in New Jersey! I know what you're thinking....





No, not that New Jersey. More like this New Jersey:





That is actually my town. Good old Spotswood, NJ. About 2 sq miles, 10,000 people. 2 lakes, 4 or 5 traffic lights, a couple schools and enough churches to house the entire population of New Jersey (well, almost). Spotswood's claim to fame is that President George Washington spent some time there with his troops after the Battle of Monmouth. Spotswood and the rest of central New Jersey, that is! It's a nice little town, though much easier to love from 800 miles away! ;)


I am very into political discussions and I happen to be a very opinionated person! With most political topics, I'm up for pretty much anyone's opinion and I usually find that I agree with several points from both sides! There is one itty bitty topic that I am very vocally supportive of and that would be...









Dun dun dun! Yes, I am one of "those." Can't help it, I was born that way (cue the Lady Gaga). I am all for everyone's right to have an opinion...I am especially for my right to think that someone else's opinion is wrong. ;) I'm not usually this forward with my political opinions (I hope?) but seeing as this is a blog, I'll probably be spending some time ranting about several things, and more than likely a few of those will include this very issue. 


Moving on! 
I have a glorious family. My mom & dad have been married for 23 years. My dad is the hardest working man I have ever known and my mom is the strongest woman I have ever known. I certainly have great role models in them. I also have an older brother, Kevin, who is in the United States Army! Woohoo! Here is a picture of Kevin and me (because we are so precious!):






sniff sniff...I am a proud sister!


I am also a lover of animals! I have a cat named Olivia and a dog named Tucker. Tucker is really my mom's dog, but I pretend he's mine. 


  



Why yes, they are adorable. Thank you for noticing!


My life journey has brought me to the beautiful city of Chicago, where I currently live for school.





^that's the view from my dorm's window. I'll take it!


I am a musical theatre major at Columbia College Chicago! That is basically the whole premise of this blog. I stole the title - 'Living on Dreams and Spaghettios' - from the song "This One's for the Girls" by the fabulous country artist, Martina McBride.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SaJijY0ZF0I
^ Please listen to it and absorb the sheer awesomeness.


This blog will basically be outlining my frustrations and joys of trying to get through the day-to-day of school and trying to figure out my way through this insane industry, as well as some other goings-on that may be happening in life!


Now that all of that nonsense is done, I think we can wrap up this introduction! I promise my future contributions to the blogosphere will be (hopefully) way more exciting, I just wanted to get all this factual business out of the way! From now on I will be mildly amusing, generally sarcastic, and my goal is to talk about things that you'll find interesting and relatable! I really am brand new to this...so we'll see how it goes!! Thanks for reading! :)