I'm kidding, obviously, because if they hadn't reproduced then the world wouldn't have me, and that would be tragic. but my genetics do leave a lot to be desired. The latest manifestation of their awesomeness is in my spine. I briefly mentioned that I've been having some back problems. I didn't go into detail because, really, everyone in this world has their own problems and who wants to read about mine? Then I realized two things: 1. this is a blog about my life. obviously if you're reading it you have to be remotely interested in what's going on (God bless you!). and 2. Have you ever heard of schadenfreude? It is a beautiful German word (there's an oxymoron! (I'm kidding. I love German. Hi Frau Altmiller!!)) that literally means "Pleasure or happiness at the misfortune of others." There is probably some aspect of your life that sucks. That's not a diss on your life, that's just a fact of it - everyone's life sucks a little bit. Maybe reading about my problems will help you forget about your own for a little bit, or something like that. Really I'm just trying to justify to myself why I'm talking about myself constantly. That's the problem with blogs, they cater to people like me who sometimes really like to talk about their own life. I'm sorry!
So back to the back pain (do you see what I did there?), for about a year, every couple months I would have a week or two of extreme discomfort (but not necessarily pain) in my lower back. About 2 months ago it started again, but this time it was crippling, and it didn't get better - it just got worse. So I sucked it up and decided to consult a chiropractor about 4 weeks ago, which I really recommend. I've been seeing a chiropractor since I was 2 months old. They are heaven sent! My chiropractor has been doing some physical and manual therapy combined with electric stim on my back, and there was no improvement at all and my back was just getting worse, in addition to the fact that there was now pain shooting down both of my legs and I couldn't move without feeling like I was being stabbed.
SO doc sent me for an MRI. That was enough of an experience itself. I'm not a claustrophobic person, but I think everyone becomes claustrophobic when it comes to MRIs. The woman on the phone asked me if I was claustrophobic and I decided to say yes to see what happened. Nothing happened. The only thing that got me was now these people knew that I was going to be freaking out while I was stuffed in this tube for half an hour with jackhammers banging all around me. Have you ever noticed how people who give MRIs are always like really sweet and nice, etc.? It's because they can get their evil, sadistic ways out of their systems by knowing how much they're really torturing you.
This is the result of said MRI:
Two things with this. First, I'm not a doctor, I don't even play one on TV. but even I can tell that there is something going on there in those shady spots, especially that one shady spot where it's really sticking out on the side. Someone who actually is a doctor, and maybe they even play one on TV, looked at this and got the following information:
My genes suck.
More specifically, I was born with a wonderful little thing called "Congenital Canal Stenosis" of the lumbar spine. Meaning, basically, that the spinal cord narrows as it goes down to the bottom. This is resulting in nerve damage, bulging discs, compression of all kinds of things and a bunch of other problems that I don't even understand. There was a lot of head nodding and smiling as all of this was explained to me. But what it comes down to is that I was born with this 'issue' and I was told that there's no way to treat/cure it, but rather 'manage' it. The doctor informed me that through continuing the therapy and consulting a neurologist they should be able to get me out of pain and try to make sure that the pain does not come back, at least to this magnitude.
I was all down on myself thinking that I was going to be crippled for life. I don't think there's much room in the musical theatre industry for people with major back problems. But then I got a phone call from my mom! She found a spine center (place thing...) and they do a non-invasive laser surgery to repair stenosis of the spine! HEY, that's what I have!!! I faxed a copy of my MRI results over to them, and in the next few days they will be contacting me to let me know if the surgery would help my problem and if I'm eligable for it. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too much, but it sure would be nice.
Then comes the decision of how and where to get this surgery done...
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